Where I Come From

My mother is crazy, but in a good way. Sure, she drives me nuts sometimes just like mothers do, but I'm lucky to have a cool one. I was talking to my dad on the phone today, and he asked me if my sister had told me what my mother had done.

"No," I told him, "what'd she do this time?" I asked. It's hard telling. I've known the woman to do such random things as suddenly exclaiming, "Stop the car!" on a leisurely Sunday afternoon drive through the country so that she could fulfill the urge to run full-speed across an inviting field. Stuff like that.

So this time, she was telling my sister that she wished she could wash the car naked. It was so hot, and she was annoyed to have to wear clothes. My sister apparantly said, "I dare you. You wouldn't do it. I dare you!"

A short time passed, and my sister walked down to the basement where the garage door was open. She caught a glimpse of my mother's bare shoulder and spun around. There stood my mother fully naked in the driveway washing the car. Mind you, they live in a neighborhood with, well, neighbors.

"Mother!" my sister exclaimed. "What if Alan (the immediate next door neighbor) sees you? Please, put some clothes on! You're embarrassing me!"

My mother simply told her, "I don't care," as she proceeded to jump around the driveway in the buff so her breasts bounced around. Seriously.

That's not the only time I've known her to do something insane like that. When I was a senior in high school, our small town was hit by a legitimate blizzard. I know. Unusual for Georgia. Nonetheless, we were buried in 24 inches of snow and lost electricity, so we took our perishables to the patio and nestled them in the snow. I'm not sure whose crazy idea it was or how it even came up, but one of us dared my mother to strip down to her birthday suit and dive from the back door into the snow-covered patio.

And so she did.

~ the lady love