This Week's Blotter

I found Creative Loafing's Blotter this week to be choice. The Blotter is a weekly recap of bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports.

When I used to say l lived right next door to the cop shop at my old place, I literally lived right next door. So, I particularly like the first blotter report below about the cops responding to a call about a suspected marijuana plant at a gas pump. It just reminded of the time when a boulder came through Steve's (the dead guy) window and landed on his bed, waking him at 3 a.m. Steve was pissed. He and I stood outside in the parking lot staring at some fucking nut case with an armload of rocks pacing outside the gate. We called the cops three times. It took 25 minutes for them to show up. The last time Steve called, he asked the dispatcher (who was coincidentally also in the building next door), "So all the cops and cop cars right next door are there for what? Look, man, I live right across the street. I could spit on your building I'm so close, and the guy who just tried to break into my place is standing right here. I called 20 minutes ago."

"I'm sorry, sir. Someone will be with you shortly." After another five minutes, they showed up. They asked if either of us actually saw the man throw the rock through Steve's window. Since the answer was no, they said they couldn't do anything because we didn't witness it. Steve asked, "So the fact that he's standing right here with a bunch of rocks means nothing? The guy is obviously fucking crazy."

Yep, it meant nothing, and yep, he was crazy. The cops told us after debriefing the man that he had just been released from the psych ward at Grady.

This Week's Blotter:

A MAN was at a gas station on Cleveland Avenue. He went to pump No. 7. When he looked on the ground, he saw a suspected marijuana plant sitting there. He decided to call 911 and report the plant. Police arrived and took the suspected marijuana plant to the police evidence room.

AROUND 2 A.M., an officer saw a suspicious white Toyota pickup truck on Euclid Avenue. The engine was running, but the car was parked. A man and woman were passed out inside. Five open beers were on the ground. The officer knocked on the door, trying to wake up the people. Eventually, the man woke up "in a disarray and unknowing where he was," the officer wrote. Then the officer shook the woman (the driver of the Toyota) several times. Eventually, she woke up. The officer asked for her name and if she knew where she was. The woman answered, "Hi, how are you?" The officer asked the woman to recite the alphabet. "Isn't the snow pretty?" she replied. The officer wrote, "I asked her again, and she wasn't able to complete a sentence due to getting distracted by the snow." The woman, who lives in Alpharetta, was arrested for DUI.

A WOMAN said someone broke into her rental property, a house on Beecher Street. The glass on the front door was broken, but the front door was locked. A rear window was broken and the window was wide open. Nothing was missing from the house. But somehow the woman's refrigerator was moved to the front porch. No suspects.

A WOMAN FROM COLUMBUS said she and some friends went to a nightclub on Auburn Avenue to celebrate her 22nd birthday. A friend of her friends -- a guy nicknamed Dread -- said he left his ID in the woman's car. So she gave her car keys to Dread so he could get his ID. Some time elapsed, yet Dread didn't return to the nightclub. So the woman went outside to look for her car, a 2005 silver Toyota Camry. The car was gone. The woman got a ride to Dread's house and waited for him. Around 7 a.m., Dread returned home. He tossed the car keys at the woman and said he wrecked her car, which was now at a wrecker service. Nothing further.

A NEW JERSEY MAN bid on eBay for a Porsche SUV. He won, with a bid of $48,350. He corresponded with a Jonesboro man about picking up the Porsche. (They talked only via phone and e-mail.) The New Jersey man tried to put a PayPal deposit into the Jonesboro man's bank account, but the deposit did not go through.

So the Jonesboro man told him to meet another guy at Lenox Square, in the Macy's parking lot, to get the Porsche. The New Jersey man went to Lenox Square with three cashier's checks totaling $48,350. He gave the man the checks, and took possession of the Porsche. The New Jersey man failed to notice that the vehicle identification number on this Porsche didn't match the VIN listed on the Porsche on eBay.

Next, the New Jersey man took his Porsche to a dealership on Roswell Road for a maintenance check. There, he was informed that his Porsche was a stolen car. A Roswell police detective arrived and took possession of the Porsche.

The New Jersey man tried to stop payment on his cashier's checks. He managed to get back about $29,000.

A MAN WAS FLAGGING DOWN and blocking cars at the intersection of Rockwell Street and Metropolitan Parkway. Police stopped the man, a known prostitute. The man said he was asking for money from the drivers of passing cars. The man said if drivers would give him a dollar, he would show them "some ass." The man, age 37, was arrested for soliciting rides.

AROUND 3 A.M., a man was swinging a yellow-handled iron pick. He had just broken the window of a house on North Avenue. Seeing this, a police officer approached the man. The man said he was evicted from the house a few days ago and if he couldn't have the house, nobody could. The man, age 44, was arrested for trespassing.

~ the lady love