Monday, July 04, 2005

I Am My Own Worst Enemy, Sometimes

One thing I know about myself for sure: too much sleep depresses the hell out of me. So what did I do today? I slept. ALL DAY. I finally got up around 8pm to find myself in a hollow of despair, but I did it to myself. I was supposed to go to visit my parents today, and I spent all day calling between sleep cycles to say, "I'll be there later" until finally at eight I called and said, "I'll be there tomorrow." So, they're pissed at me, too, feeling like I am blowing them off because I haven't seen them in two months since they came to Atlanta to celebrate my 30th birthday. My own guilt about this little fact is not helping my mindset, though I am not blowing them off; I love them. This despressive state is just a cycle that continuously feeds itself.

I will force it shortlived.

I'll start anew tomorrow, crawl out of this hole, and try not to get more than 6 hours of sleep a night to keep my mind healthy.

~the lady love

No comments: