Well, it's official. I'm moving. It all happened very quickly. I had looked at a couple places and was very unimpressed. It just made me realize how much I really love my place, especially for the price. Plus, I gotta say that I was dreading the expense of moving - deposits, application fees, utility transfer and connection fees - ugh!
Then the other night I got a call from my friend Jonathan. He told me he had a proposition for me. He was looking for a roommate and wanted me to move in with him. He told me that he had already turned a few people away and couldn't stop thinking that he wanted to live with me. Here's the kicker: he had no idea I was looking to move.
Even better, I love Jonathan's place. Love it. It's only about 5 minutes from my place and is located in Cabbagetown. The first time I went to his loft, I was admittedly jealous. I even told him that his place was the one place that I actually liked more than mine. It's also kind of similar to mine - it's a true loft. It's got high ceilings, brick walls, wood beams, a spiral staircase, and shiny, black-stained concrete floors (mine are red). And it's spacious. It's 1300 square ft. with two bedrooms and two bathrooms. It even has an incredible patio.
As much as I was thrilled to live alone when my roommate moved out in May, I have also been thinking the last month that I am kind of lonely - that I wouldn't mind living with someone again if it was the right person in the appropriate space. Turns out, Jonathan is the ideal person with absolutely the right space. My things will also easily integrate with his things, and what doesn't fit, we will put in storage (and he will be storing anything we replace with my things).
Finally, it will cost less than what I am paying now. After rent and bills, it will save me approximately $200 a month.
I am so, so relieved.
~ the lady love
Monday, January 30, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Handle with Care (addendum)
After all these years, I still don't know how to gracefully tell someone who asks for my number that I don't want to give it to him.
Tonight I ran into this guy that I've met a few times before. The first time I met him was at a friend's place about a year and half ago. I was going and he was coming when he overheard me inviting my friend out with me that night. He said he'd like to go out that night, too, and asked where I was going, implying that he'd like to go out with me. I simply replied, "I'm going to MJQ" as a way to acknowledge his question while cleverly deflecting his implication. Sure, I'd be happy to run into him and be friendly, which is why I responded at all, but I wasn't interested in making plans with him. He actually came to the club that night with a couple friends. We chatted for a minute and it was cool.
Then a few months ago, I ran into him again. We recognized each other, were happy to see each other, exchanged a few words, and went on our ways. Then I bumped into him tonight. Again with the recognition and acknowledgement, the casual and ritualistic exchange of pleasantries, and then he said, "Hey, I'd really like to hang out with you some time." I didn't really respond, and before I knew it, he asked, "Can I get your number?"
After a slight pause I tentatively said, "Uhhh, okay." So I gave him my digits.
As I was talking on the phone with Chelle Belle tonight, I got another call ringing in. Most often I don't answer my call waiting as I think it's a bit rude unless it's a necessary call to take, but I didn't recognize the number, which piqued my curiousity. My dumb ass had completely forgotten about giving dude my number just two hours earlier.
"Hello?"
"May I speak to Love?" I instantly realized who it was. Shit. I wasn't prepared.
"This is Love."
"Hello? Hello?" He was obviously having technical difficulties and couldn't hear me. After a moment, I just clicked back over. Then he rang in again, but this time I didn't answer, nor did he leave a message.
So how is it that you gently tell someone that you are entirely uninterested? Now that I've given him my number, I want to acknowledge him. I think it's shitty to dodge a guy after extending an invitation, in effect, for him to call by giving him your number.
I don't know why I'm not interested. He's attractive, friendly, and obviously interested, but I'm just not. At all.
I tend to be a pretty direct person. I typically don't have a problem telling it like it is, but situations like these are a little different, perhaps because rejection just plain sucks. I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up and tell him what I should have said the first time when he said he wanted to hang out and asked for my number. That is, "Thank you, but I don't really have time for new friends right now," which is absolutely true. I don't have the time or energy for anyone new in my life right now, especially someone who I probably wouldn't want to make time for even if I was available.
It's just tough. It's tough to tell someone that you are simply not interested in knowing them better, but I think it's the respectable thing to do. I think I'd be more disappointed in myself if I just kept ignoring him long enough for him to get the hint, because I certainly don't like to be ignored.
Maybe I'm just being too sensitive. Men are probably better than women are at being rejected by a person who they are not invested in, most likely because they're well-practiced at it since our culture still largely abides the gender rules of engagement; i.e., men still do most of the asking. It's also likely that a man who is confident enough to so easily ask for a number probably understands that to get women you have to risk rejection.
Even still, rejection just plain sucks, and I admire people who have the confidence to ask me out. I've too often and too easily been told that I am especially intimidating, which I truly don't understand, but whatever. As a result, I often find myself having to put the ball into play. Fortunately, when I do, I have good enough reason to suspect I won't be rejected, so rejection of this sort isn't something I've ever had to really deal with. Nonetheless, I still fear it, so it's nice to have someone risk it for me.
Kind of a tangent here, but the topic of me being intimidating raises some interesting questions in my mind. Mainly, why? Sure, I know that I am a self assured person, but I've always been told that confidence in a woman is attractive, yet I get the feeling that this is the exact reason that people find me intimidating. I guess I just don't understand what exactly it is that I project that is intimidating. I look people in the eye, I listen to them, I ask them questions, I'm easy to talk to. In fact, I think I am quite welcoming and put people at ease. Perhaps it is my quick and sharp wit? (I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I know I have it.) I even had a guy tell me once that I made him nervous because I had the ability to shred him. But that's exactly what I don't get: why would anyone think I would shred them, even if I could?
Okay, rambling here and over-analyzing myself. Sometimes I just wish I could step outside myself and see me the way other people do, because I think we have very different perceptions.
What's a girl to do?
~ the lady love
Tonight I ran into this guy that I've met a few times before. The first time I met him was at a friend's place about a year and half ago. I was going and he was coming when he overheard me inviting my friend out with me that night. He said he'd like to go out that night, too, and asked where I was going, implying that he'd like to go out with me. I simply replied, "I'm going to MJQ" as a way to acknowledge his question while cleverly deflecting his implication. Sure, I'd be happy to run into him and be friendly, which is why I responded at all, but I wasn't interested in making plans with him. He actually came to the club that night with a couple friends. We chatted for a minute and it was cool.
Then a few months ago, I ran into him again. We recognized each other, were happy to see each other, exchanged a few words, and went on our ways. Then I bumped into him tonight. Again with the recognition and acknowledgement, the casual and ritualistic exchange of pleasantries, and then he said, "Hey, I'd really like to hang out with you some time." I didn't really respond, and before I knew it, he asked, "Can I get your number?"
After a slight pause I tentatively said, "Uhhh, okay." So I gave him my digits.
As I was talking on the phone with Chelle Belle tonight, I got another call ringing in. Most often I don't answer my call waiting as I think it's a bit rude unless it's a necessary call to take, but I didn't recognize the number, which piqued my curiousity. My dumb ass had completely forgotten about giving dude my number just two hours earlier.
"Hello?"
"May I speak to Love?" I instantly realized who it was. Shit. I wasn't prepared.
"This is Love."
"Hello? Hello?" He was obviously having technical difficulties and couldn't hear me. After a moment, I just clicked back over. Then he rang in again, but this time I didn't answer, nor did he leave a message.
So how is it that you gently tell someone that you are entirely uninterested? Now that I've given him my number, I want to acknowledge him. I think it's shitty to dodge a guy after extending an invitation, in effect, for him to call by giving him your number.
I don't know why I'm not interested. He's attractive, friendly, and obviously interested, but I'm just not. At all.
I tend to be a pretty direct person. I typically don't have a problem telling it like it is, but situations like these are a little different, perhaps because rejection just plain sucks. I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up and tell him what I should have said the first time when he said he wanted to hang out and asked for my number. That is, "Thank you, but I don't really have time for new friends right now," which is absolutely true. I don't have the time or energy for anyone new in my life right now, especially someone who I probably wouldn't want to make time for even if I was available.
It's just tough. It's tough to tell someone that you are simply not interested in knowing them better, but I think it's the respectable thing to do. I think I'd be more disappointed in myself if I just kept ignoring him long enough for him to get the hint, because I certainly don't like to be ignored.
Maybe I'm just being too sensitive. Men are probably better than women are at being rejected by a person who they are not invested in, most likely because they're well-practiced at it since our culture still largely abides the gender rules of engagement; i.e., men still do most of the asking. It's also likely that a man who is confident enough to so easily ask for a number probably understands that to get women you have to risk rejection.
Even still, rejection just plain sucks, and I admire people who have the confidence to ask me out. I've too often and too easily been told that I am especially intimidating, which I truly don't understand, but whatever. As a result, I often find myself having to put the ball into play. Fortunately, when I do, I have good enough reason to suspect I won't be rejected, so rejection of this sort isn't something I've ever had to really deal with. Nonetheless, I still fear it, so it's nice to have someone risk it for me.
Kind of a tangent here, but the topic of me being intimidating raises some interesting questions in my mind. Mainly, why? Sure, I know that I am a self assured person, but I've always been told that confidence in a woman is attractive, yet I get the feeling that this is the exact reason that people find me intimidating. I guess I just don't understand what exactly it is that I project that is intimidating. I look people in the eye, I listen to them, I ask them questions, I'm easy to talk to. In fact, I think I am quite welcoming and put people at ease. Perhaps it is my quick and sharp wit? (I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I know I have it.) I even had a guy tell me once that I made him nervous because I had the ability to shred him. But that's exactly what I don't get: why would anyone think I would shred them, even if I could?
Okay, rambling here and over-analyzing myself. Sometimes I just wish I could step outside myself and see me the way other people do, because I think we have very different perceptions.
What's a girl to do?
~ the lady love
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Inked
Ahhh, body art.
My friend Sam likes to say I'm whimsical. (He also likes to send me random text messages, like last Sunday morning, that say shit like, "Do you think about me when you masturbate?" Ummm, no.) Anyway, this tattoo is a good case in point. I never wanted a tattoo, but then I saw a documentary on TLC about these women who'd had mastectomies, which is apparently quite emotionally traumatic for women in terms of their self identity/femininity. As a form of therapy and emotional healing, they tattooed their chests as a way to own it and turn their disfigurement into something beautiful.
Six years ago I was in a car accident that broke my arm very badly and crushed part of my bone. Now I've got a large plate and a whole mess of screws in my arm holding it together and a big ugly scar lingering like a lipstick stain on a wine glass. After seeing the documentary, I urgently decided to get a piece to overlay the scar left over from my surgery. I'm not really vain enough that the scar bothered me. In fact, I think scars are kinda cool, but nonetheless, I thought "why not make it beautiful?".
This tattoo is called an Oonagh Knot (a Celtic love knot). In Celtic mythology, Oonagh was queen of the fairies - a goddess. Oonagh's beauty was so great that it left mortals who looked upon her in a state of amazement. And as legend goes, wherever she went she was accompanied by streams of sunbeams and moonbeams and surrounded by colors of the rainbow which reflected out the jewelry that she wore. This was a piece of jewelry that she wore around her neck. I just had the artist create a bracelet for my arm.
It was my first tattoo, which always surprises people because it's on my forearm. I guess the typical m/o is for people to start out with a discreet and hidden location and build up to the more obvious places - like one's arm. But for me, I don't really see the point in having a tattoo if it can't be seen.
The second one I got was on the back of my neck, which bugs the crap out of me because I can't see it. I like to enjoy my own body art, so lesson learned: make sure any new ink is visible to me. I've got a couple more in the pipeline. I'd really like to have the female figure from dali's painting of the female figure with head of flowers, 1937 tattooed on my leg.
The most pressing piece I want/have to get is the word "every". I read an article in Newsweek about a writer in Brooklyn, NY, named Shelley Jackson who is publishing her next short story, called "Skin", word by word in the form of tattoos on peoples' bodies. I wrote Shelley and told her why I would like to be a "word" in her story and she accepted me as part of her project. I've had my word for a year now but still haven't gotten it inked. I've been having a hard time deciding where exactly to put it, but I think I've finally decided to put it on the underside of my wrist. Now it's just a matter of picking an artist and getting it done.
I'll probably have a woman tattoo me. I've had both men and women tattoo me and there is a certain connection I seek with someone who is putting permanent art on my body. It was there with Collette when she did my Oonagh Knot but I felt a real disconnect with the guy who did my second one. Maybe it was just that artist imparticular, but I'm not so sure. I think it may just have to be a woman after all.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, I don't regret it.
~ the lady love
P.S. Check out Bobby Yang. (Let the page load for about 15 seconds, and a sample will automatically start). He's this local Atlanta rock-n-roll style violinist who is completely badass. If that doesn't work, then listen to this (the first link is more entertaining though!) Trust me on this, it's killer stuff. His CD is available for purchase at bobby yang dot com
Anyway, I just got his CD after seeing a show at a local music club and was blown away by his renditions of Billie Jean (Michael Jackson), Fascination Street (The Cure), Kashmir (Led Zeppelin), Creep (Radiohead), I Love Rock-n-Roll (Joan Jett), Sweet Child O' Mine (Guns N Roses), and Purple Rain (Prince).
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Two Random Thoughts
1) This morning I broke into song with Kokomo by the Beach Boys, and I did it with fervor. Then I had a hearty laugh at myself. Ah, good times. Good times.
2) While a lovely state, whenever I think of or hear about Virginia, the first thing that comes to mind is either a grocery cart, a mattress, or a Big Wheel in a ditch. O' Appalachia, how I love thee!
~ the lady love
2) While a lovely state, whenever I think of or hear about Virginia, the first thing that comes to mind is either a grocery cart, a mattress, or a Big Wheel in a ditch. O' Appalachia, how I love thee!
~ the lady love
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