Starfucker

Haha. I took a stroll back through my blog trying to find "it" again. That is, my ability to write like I used to, which is funny because I've spent every day for the past 7 months writing professionally so you'd think it'd be easy for me to pick up right where I left off. Not so. Blogging made me a much better writer in my professional life, but the reverse hasn't proved to be true.

Anyway, as I perused the annals, I was surprised to see that I had a good number of half-posts still in the cooker. Maybe 10 of them, just sitting there in draft form waiting to be finished (which reminds me of myself).

Anyway, I don't know exactly what caused me to start this one and never finish it, but I got a good laugh from it. So in lieu of an actual new post, I give you this:

From December 23, 2005

Starfucker

Starfuckers buuuuug me. Starfucking takes the shape of many forms and usually reveals something very important about a person if you pay attention enough to see it. I myelf am an observer, so I do. In all instances that I have discerned a person's starfucker qualities, starfucking can be distilled down to one thing: self esteem - or lack thereof. And it's usually women who are the starfuckers.

Proximity and accessibility to a star(s) is mandatory for one to be a bonafide starfucker. Otherwise, one is just a wannabe-starfucker. Meaning they would if they could but they can't. Nope.

Starfucking has many layers. Really astute starfuckers can actually spot a potential star, which is a crowning achievement for a starfucker. When celebrity strikes, it matters not that the starfucking came pre-stardom. Popping a proverbial celebrity cherry gives starfuckers similar satisfaction to what they glean from starfucking a star in his prime.

Even better, starfuck him (or her) again later and know that, even as a star, you can still starfuck them. You see, starfuckers aren't exclusively looking for conquests or notches on the belt. They want impact. Staying power. To be desired. Appreciated. Remembered. Recognized. Somebody with both a name and a face that will be remembered by the star after months - even years - of thousands of other fleeting names and faces. Starfuckers want a star's personal email address.

Not all starfuckers readily brag, either. A good many starfuckers are actually much more discreet and covert than to brag outright, managing to drop an appropriately timed name or story, which lends credibility to a starfucker. See, starfuckers don't want to be perceived as starfuckers. In fact, starfuckers tend to scoff at the likes of groupies and obsessive fans and even other starfuckers because starfuckers themselves want to think they are more than just starfuckers.

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Wtf? I don't know where I was headed with that, but I really wish I'd finished because I'd like to know where I'd end up. Oh well.

~ the lady